update on my life

Hi all! I have not been a faithful blogger. But I wanted to update you on some things in case you didn't already know. 


I got into seminary at Southeastern in the town of Wake Forest! That means the first year I will be doing it online and living here in Greenville, because I signed a lease before I ever thought of going to seminary. And I don't feel like backing out on good friends when that would mean they'd be responsible for paying my portion.


Everything else is pretty much the same. Off and on I have trouble with my back... please pray for that. Pray that I would be diligent about my rehab and that the core issues with my back would be resolved and corrected. I need this... I need my life back. 


I just got Alex Denning to make a blogger profile but Safari crashed and he lost it. He'll do it later. 


When it comes to being single, I'm back and forth, but I'm leaning towards content, right now. I'm more than willing to be patient if it means waiting for the right girl. Amazing all the bullcrap people feed you about "being a virgin is harmful to your psychological well-being." If I had ever had sex, especially with any of the crazies I dated, I promise you I'd be one MESSED UP kid. I had enough issues that I needed to pray through for years, even without that problem. Adding that bond to a kid who grew up clingy, and that would have made me go off the deep end. 


Anyhow. Thank you for reading! Thank you for following me on Twitter as well. I'm elated that so many of you think I'm funny. I think I am too sometimes. I just get these thoughts and I go with it. I could never be a comedian... but life is just funny sometimes, don't you agree? And I have funny friends that allowed my sense of humor to develop and take form. Thanks guys. 


Thanks for being my friends. I realize I can be critical and sarcastic sometimes. I've been confronted on it. Sometimes I'm the only one who thinks a statement is funny. I shall be more wise with my tongue next time. 


My hope is that I can be more real with everyone and live to please God, not myself. Being a suburb kid is a deadly thing. I don't want to live insulated from reality forever. In terms of my faith, let's just say that I'm very much snuggled up in my routine and that I don't really want anything major to change right now. Pray my heart is broken for my neighbors here in America that rot slowly in the dark away from the life God gives. I feel like my mission field is here. 


But anyway. Love Christ. That's all I ask. Love you guys. -G

Could video games be ministry?

I've heard that some have tried to use their xbox subscription to the glory of God by evangelizing online during a video game match. A lot of people think that's absurd. However, because I like to look at both sides of an issue, I'm not going to immediately condemn it. But I do have some thoughts that I think give some insight into this subject.

I was thinking today about how my little brother and I play online and how it never really brings us together. Let me explain.

He misses me a lot. I'm often away from home for long periods of time, so I can see why. He also plays video games a lot, so that's a great opportunity to hang out with him, right?

Well, I'm beginning to think differently. The very nature of the games we play, such as COD 4 Modern Warfare, are such that several things happen in the game that actually keep us "apart" the whole time we're playing together. Literally, the very nature of the game separates us even though we're trying to spend some time together.

Here's what I mean.

Problem One. I die a lot in Call of Duty. Fact. That means that even if I can find my bro in the game, and I try to fight alongside him, I don't last long. Then I get spawned again, this time across the map, so I have to spend the majority of my time in cyberspace actually "away" from my brother, trying to get to him, when the whole point is to be "with" him playing this game.

Problem Two. We're not in the same room, we're in opposite sides of the house, playing in the same match. Problem is, even though we have headsets to talk to each other, that's the only real thing about my brother that I'm getting to encounter in this game. And you know boys. We don't talk much... we just shoot things.

So maybe if it were Nintendo Wii, or if we were playing splitscreen, then I'd actually get to sit in the same room as him and do something fun that makes us laugh together. I've been hoping for another way to connect to my brother besides this... because really, the way it feels when we're done playing, is very, very unfulfilled. I don't feel like I've seen my brother at all, or enjoyed any time with him. It's really robbed me of getting to joke around and laugh with him. You know, doing stuff that makes memories, that we all love doing. Cause who doesn't love hanging out? It's just meaningless. You just play and then you're done, and what do you get to keep? What about your videogame endures beyond you turning off the console? Are you finding your self-worth in what achievements you've earned on XBOX Live? Talk about sad!

So the next time he asks me if I can play Call of Duty, I have to wonder... what are some other things we could do that would actually make us feel like we spent time together? Makes me sound like a goody-goody nerd who writes self-help books, but I don't care. I'm not.

So I have to question anyone who says they're trying to talk about Jesus while people are busy blowing each others' heads off. Not very many videogame players are thinking about how unfulfilled they are while they are playing, but instead after they play. Your online presence has little affect on anyone. It's a waste of time... because it's not real.

One quick note

I would like to point out that in my previous post I left out the fact that the wrath of God is not always passive (abandoning us to our sin) but sometimes it is indeed active (Sodom and Gamorrah, and Aaron's sons dying after touching the Ark). In the New Testament it can even be seen when believers take Communion without reconciling themselves to their brothers... in so doing, they drink God's judgement upon themselves, according to Paul. So God doesn't always leave us alone. But when He does, that's in a way scarier than fire and destruction because we're left alone to sin and become more and more blind.

When God says "Whatever"

I just noticed that Proverbs 1:31 and Romans 1:24 are about the same exact thing. When we ignore God's input, He abandons us to our desires and things get really dark. That's what's so scary: we're left to our own lawlessness and its ill effects when we walk outside of the design for how things SHOULD work.

I have been refreshing my mind with the wisdom of Matt Chandler recently and I remember him saying in one podcast that in reference to Romans 1, when mankind turns away from Him and worships itself and the creation over the Creator, God's response is not instant lightning bolts and death, although we do see that plenty in the days before the new Covenant. God's response is often, "ok." He abandons us to our shameful desires and all forms of sin that we champion as "our way" and "our life". When we hold no regard to what our holy God wants for us, and ignore Scripture that so clearly tells us the desires of God, we spit in His face.

Isaiah 45:19 says that God "publicly proclaims bold promises; He does not whisper obscurities in some dark corner so that no one can understand what He means; He would not have told His people to seek Him if He could not be found". So, when we claim that "oooh God didn't say I couldn't do it so I'm gonna do it and get away with it", and you haven't even read the Bible to make sure, what a joke you are! Small reward people like you will reap when you are content to let your faith get no larger than the distance from your TV to the dusty Bible on your nightstand. The world blasphems the name of God because of people with shallow faith. Again, just quoting Scripture here.

Back to the topic. If we do not listen to the voice of Wisdom, shouting in the streets as in Proverbs 1, then we are lost to our own devices and desires (which always, eventually bring us down).

So does God never rebuke and lead us to repentance? Of course He does! But sometimes He abandons us to our own devices so that we can realize how much we need Him.

The Dating Question

It has been almost a year since I have dated. Usually about a year happens between each one... but this time, there's no time limit. It's whatever. I'm not looking for just fun, I'm looking for a wife, and I'm tired of the games people play. 

In the past, I have been clingy, emotionally unstable, judgemental, and probably lots of other negative things. I could spill the ugly details of a young man's confused struggle towards righteousness, but I'll spare you.

I just want to say that historically I have struggled with the "need" for someone special in my life. I've just always felt like I need her. And in some respect, I do. We all long to be understood and affirmed for who we want to be. It's just that now, I know that no amount of control I can exert on my life to "meet the right lady" or "pull off some slick moves" will achieve my dreams exactly the right way. 

What is the right way? Is it something that I can just think up? Or is that something hidden in the mind of God? Maybe I should stop "doing life" the way I think inside the box, and actually pay attention to what God is saying to me through His Word. Maybe I'm single for a reason. Maybe I need to learn how to be happy with myself and by myself before I can satisfy anyone else! Maybe the question is not whether the Bible is relevant, but rather when I'm going to realize it is!

People... just wake up. Love is... so amazing, it really is. But if you chronically pine away, wondering who the next new sexy "her" or "him" will be... you probably aren't making God your whole pursuit. I know this about myself... that I love women more than I love God sometimes. 

Just remember that. I love each and every one of you because Christ wants me to and He puts that desire in me. Love has way too much meaning for us to sit and play with it like it's a toy. 1 Corinthians 13.  

Love is SO much more than a game.

Judgementalism in Dexter's Lab

I have heard examples lately of Christians who hear ONE thing about someone, Christian or not, and they prejudge them, avoiding them or acting a certain way from that point on.

Jesus did not die for you so that you could judge and avoid other people, churches, pastors, political opponents, etc. If you claim to be so serious about the cross, then listen to what I'm saying and stop being so petty. I have a hard time understanding how people who have grown up around the cross for 20 years still have no patience with sinners, or even their brothers and sisters in Christ. If you can't tolerate sinners, that's a sin in itself; if you can't tolerate certain Christians, what is wrong with you?

This is going to be an awkward transition because the analogy that popped into my head was much more lighthearted and comical. I think it still fits. There was an episode of Dexter's Lab once, a long time ago. Deedee, the little sister, was annoying the crap out of Dexter, because she just wanted to show him something. Dexter, in the meantime, refused, because he didn't care and was very annoyed. He refused, based on his judgement of her, and he closed his mind to her.

Deedee was bugging Dexter the ENTIRE episode to just stop and pay attention to her for one minute so that she could show him something. Dexter avoided Deedee the whole time up until the very end. After a lot of nagging, Dexter finally blew up and said "All right Deedee, what is it you want to show me?" or something like that. She showed him her trick (which I think involved a jump rope and some other stuff). Dexter was actually impressed! He said "SAY, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD! Well, I'll be seein' ya!" Then he waves at her with a smile and they both smile and part ways, and the episode ends. 

I may not be the best at making analogies here, but maybe there's something here that we could take away. I suffer from a judgemental heart too, so God was speaking to me as much as you when He reminded me of this. Dexter, just like you and I, shut out the person/people in his life that annoyed/vexed/drove him crazy. He shut them out, secluded in his own little bubble, his own little world. But Deedee persisted, and finally he listened! How long is it going to take before we shut up and stop listening only to ourselves? How long is it going to take before we stop, question ourselves, and listen to outsiders to the faith? For the sake of changing our doctrine to be more universalist? Absolutely not! But for the sake of showing that you actually care. These very people that drive you up the wall could be the very people that God wants you to warm to, and give you practice at humility instead of superiority. I'm talking about political enemies. I'm talking about the annoying girl in your class. I'm talking about the pastor you think has sold his soul to the devil just because he tries to make church fun by having a band and a few lights. God forbid we actually try to keep people awake on Sunday...

I think it's fitting that Deedee kept bugging Dexter. Frequently, outsiders are more patient with us than we ever are with them! And I think it's fitting that Dexter was actually pleased afterwards, even joyful. The joy that comes from actually living out a compassionate lifestyle [characterized by consistent listening]... is frankly, something that I think very few of us live.

Afterthoughts: on a separate note

P.S.: "compassion", when broken down into root words, means "to suffer with". Are you willing to listen to others who need help, even when it is not convenient?

Naughty or Nice?

You know, I was just thinking... why is the world beginning to look down on marriage and favor "sex however I want it"?

You know how in media such as movies and books, the "naughty" aspect of sex is rapidly becoming considered the turn-on to any sexual relationship. Gotta have the handcuffs and whips. But I'm not really talking about that stuff so much as I'm talking about how it's now considered desirable to be "naughty". How did what is good become boring, even undesirable? 

I just look on, amazed, at how "goodie goodie" girls are looked down on in our culture, and how we don't earn our man or woman card until we've had, frankly put, a good amount of hot sex. That's the way it's marketed. And really, in all honestly, I'm comfortable with sex, and this conundrum still appalls me. I've never done it, but hey, let's just say that my Christian brothers and I have no problem discussing it. Comfort with the topic is great. Comfort with using it outside of God's preference is not. And I know that sounds like a "goodie goodie" attitude... but there is so much more to life than what I thought before I really started following Christ. To quote Matt Chandler, God did not create the Law to rob us of the enjoyment of Creation, but to help us experience and enjoy it the way it was designed to be by God for our benefit, good, and His glory. God does not rob or deprive us of what He has called good. He helps us enjoy it in the best ways.

So we've all got this huge superiority complex, as Americans. We think that we know the best way to enjoy sex (namely, however we want it). Dare we literally think that God doesn't know the best way for us to enjoy things? Who was it that let Adam and Eve walk around naked all the time and eat papayas?! It was a freakin' sweet time! They didn't have to worry about money either! God has put us here to listen to Him and learn how to enjoy things the way He wants us to. When Adam and Eve walked outside of that parameter, they gave birth to this superiority complex... that I KNOW, not GOD KNOWS.  That the truth lies with ME, not with GOD. So we start listening to US, not to the LORD of all.

And we get this backwards understanding that what is bad... is actually good. See the polarity?

The other day, I told an old friend that my friend Brad was getting married. His response: "Poor bastard." See, marriage is an inherently wonderful, good thing. But the world hates the things of God because they seem like foolishness.

So anyway. We love our "naughty jokes", but perhaps we should stop... and listen to Christ and realize, maybe that's not what He wants us to say. Lust is quickly becoming the new "love". And I just hope that as the true Gospel of Christ is reintroduced by the new wave of united churches all across the nation and the world, that this norm is reversed. Our kids are not going to have it easy.

If you don't understand my point of view and you think I'm a sheltered hyper-conservative jerk... I'm sorry. I'm really not. But I think that the things that God wants for us are important and that He's made it very clear. 

Isaiah 45:19 NLT... I love this. 18 "I am the LORD," he says, " and there is no other. 19 I publicly proclaim bold promises. I do not whisper obscurities in some dark corner so no one can understand what I mean. And I did not tell my people to ask me for something I did not plan to give. I, the LORD, speak only what is true and right."

Breaking this down: Number one... God's promise is rock solid, and publicly available. Number two, He is not vague, and Scripture is clear. There is no excuse that one can "interpret the Bible differently from another" so as to make sin seem okay. It's called exigesis, look it up. Number three, God promises us salvation, and he will deliver. Number four, if you can count on anyone, it's him.