Hearing God's call

What I have to say in this blog is very important. Most of the time I'm spitballing at topics cause I feel like it, but this one actually means something to me and it's somewhat serious because it determines how obedient we are to God.

Recently, I have had the privilege of receiving many support letters to help my friends out on summer mission/evangelism projects. I say "privilege" because it is an honor to invest in eternity and to put a smile on my friends' faces when they meet their financial goals. Hope is a great thing. I love you guys!

I have noticed that in most letters, people say "God is calling me", etc. frequently. Seldom do I hear "I want to go and serve." Listening to God is great! But sometimes we wait forever and ever for help in a decision when He wants us to just act. Recently I listened to a podcast that really opened my eyes on this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with listening for God's call... that's wonderful! 

But sometimes a nasty little problem arises. 

Sometimes... we can become so focused on listening to that little voice in the back of our minds, that we forget something very critical to understand. You'll understand what I mean in a minute.

I have a story for you from the podcast I mentioned. I'll paraphrase it. 

Matt Chandler: "So are you going on that missions project?"

Young man:  "I don't think so. I prayed about it, but I didn't feel God calling me there. If I went, it would only be out of obedience."

Matt Chandler (thoughts): Well... what's wrong with obedience?

Wow! What's wrong with obedience to God, and doing what you know would please Him? What a faithless people we are, that we wait for a sign and don't just act! This is a HUGE deal, guys!

Sometimes, God's call isn't something we can hear. Sometimes it's in the opportunities you have to serve Him. And then the choice is up to you. Are you going to serve Him out of obedience, or are you waiting forever for a sign? A message in your alphabet soup, perhaps? Sometimes it's not going to be clear. Sometimes God won't tell you at all what He wants. 

Conclusion

So basically, I'm not saying anything bad about you guys, my friends, doing missions. I love that you love God enough to do it. I just hope that regardless of whether you "feel" a tug or a direction, that you're willing to do what you know is inherently pleasing to God. That's probably why you're going, and I hope that's always your motivation.

I've seen people switch ministries and churches because they say "God is calling me there". And He may very well be! But the question I need to raise is this: Are you following your own desires and labeling them as God's, saying it must be His way because you feel like that? Or are you taking a step out in faith, in obedience?

This fatal mistake in thinking has caused me to avoid many a homeless person because I don't "feel" that God is calling me to do what's inconvenient: give a few dollars, a few minutes, and maybe, God forbid, tell them the Gospel. 

Maybe, God forbid, you college kids should get up off the couch and stop watching Sportscenter reruns... and eat a vegetable, being a good steward of your time and body. 

Are you beginning to see that just because you feel it, it doesn't make it God's call? And are you beginning to see that just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean God doesn't want you to do it?


Maybe, God forbid, you should go to a dangerous war-torn country and risk your life for the Gospel. Is that not what we're commanded to do? Is that not what the saints robed in white around the feet of Jesus up in Heaven did, in their time on earth? They counted it all as loss for the sake of Christ, the only treasure that matters, period. In this country, we love "cheap grace". Not having to give up anything to get Jesus. In some countries, it might cost you a hand, or your life.



Consider the true story of this guy: He spent years upon years preparing for missions in Africa. He landed there and was stepping off the plane and was immediately killed with an arrow. His death spurred a huge wave of missionaries and subsequent Christian success in Africa. So... maybe God's will is for you to die. I bet you're not envying that guy. Yet... maybe... that will be you Maybe it will be me. Read James 4.

I really hope you read this with open ears and it hits you. I hope I don't turn deaf to it myself.

Beach trip

I went to the beach Thursday through Saturday night with Matt Warnick... it wasn't what I'd call a blast, but it was great to get away and just not have to think. I have the pictures up on Facebook if you care to check them out. They turned out great! Above is one.

Thursday we drove to the beach filming crazy videos on the way...check Facebook soon. Got there, unpacked, went out on the beach and did a sexyman photoshoot because we both wanted new profile pictures. I'm surprised the world didn't implode, we were so sexy (j/k). Then I freaked out because the water inside the condo was still turned off, just like the previous time I came to the beach. So I called maintanence and the guy was super nice, walked me through how to turn on the water and the hot water heater. That night, we went to the ABC store and got stuff for margaritas and rum and coke (all in moderation). Cooked out (burgers on Matt's grill, on the back porch, which apparently is a fire hazard according to Mister Security Guard so we won't ever do that again). Took over an hour to light the charcoal... it was supposed to be matchlight. Friday I hit snooze on my alarm (the song Not Guilty Anymore, a very soothing alarm, makes you hug your pillow really tight), it was set for 8:30 but we got up at 11. Matt said he's pretty sure he's not guilty anymore. Went out on the beach, played songs and talked about Ecclesiastes and stuff. I took the most pictures on this day. Jessica Bulova came, I looked behind me and she was there. I got a call from work saying they screwed up my work schedule for this week so I don't have any hours at all. Sweet! So we extended the beach trip and I was able to relax. Chilled on the beach literally with the wind chilling us... then Mike Bushey and Matt Bello, who are Warnick's roommates, came. We had a dinner council meeting and decided to go all out. We hit up the grocery store and got some pasta, alfredo sauce, salad, and stuff for shrimp/vegetable kabobs. Came back, grilled out (in the parking lot grilling area this time, but still on Matt's portable grill, which is, we know now, illegal). Pasta was done way too early. But otherwise it was fine. Everything was coordinated really well. I actually enjoyed the process more than the actual meal, because by the time we sat down it was somewhat cold. But it was still great food. And the salad... I kinda expected to be cold.

Went out that night (Friday) and watched Matt Bello catch 3 sharks. We accidentally killed one because we took too long to get the 3 pronged hook out of its mouth, plus everyone had to take pictures... including me *twitter is addictive* *cough*. Tried to stay under the overhang on the end of the pier to get out of the wind but someone had pissed in it so it smelled awful... A former ECU student that was there caught this weird eel-fish thing and said he'd use it as bait.

Came back that night, and Jersey Jess and the boys left. Matt and I searched for TWO HOURS on TV for something... the only thing on was the Matrix but somehow we got stuck watching TBN, which was horrible. Amy Grant... you need to take off your golden-plated capo (which was capo 7, WAY up there) during the song if you're going to sing without playing. Her tuning must have been screwed after that. Oh and it was obviously filmed in the early 90's. Then a man with barred glasses came on and proceeded to explain how the reinstatement of Israel as a country was a sign that Judgement is near. Apparently the restoration of Israel is something that happens in the end times. We about were falling asleep then so we got up and went to bed (in totally separate beds but definitely in the same room).

Got up after noon the next day... dang it. Going to bed at 4 has its drawbacks. Got up, ate the last of the doughnuts from Thursday, went out on the beach. Sat out playing guitar. Didn't do much of that before several girls showed up and introduced themselves. Apparently they go to ECU too. Oh wait... I don't anymore, cause I'm an old fossil. They left, and Matt and I went for a walk on the beach and talked some more. Came back up and were cleaning up, preparing to come home when the girls stopped by and said they were preparing dinner and we could come. So we did. And they only lived three doors down. I've never seen anyone my age there before. Crazy! Then after a couple hours of me constantly trying to end the conversation and leave, we finally did. They were very talkative, and Matt is no exception. Then we left. Filmed more videos on the way back home. Stopped in New Bern, picked up my diploma that finally came, got to see my family and pick up a book I ordered called "The Cross and Christian Ministry", and then we came back to G-Vegas. The End.

Confessions.

I'm not sure why I'm confessing this, perhaps it's for attention (because hey man, he's confessing all this stuff and because of that we're gonna heap compliments on him because he's humble). I tend to fish for compliments, therefore deriving my glory from man and not from Christ, who offers me Himself to be my glory and hope and reason to shine and INSTEAD I choose to rely on empty praise. 

I am: 

easily puffed up & easily insulted

quick to listen and dish out wisdom, but rarely self-apply what I learn

So just pray that my heart will change so that my own lessons hit me hard instead of me automatically thinking "this is how this applies to this or that person" without thinking about how it applies to me. Pray that I am able to throw down my pride and actually be genuine in my pursuit of Jesus and my attempts to live like him.

Didn't get into grad school

And I don't know why. Don't give me pity though... just prayers, and don't tell me you're doing it. I feed off attention... thats a sin I have.

So now I'm just working my one crappy job and hoping that I'll find another one soon so I won't feel quite so bad about myself. And how I'm not in control of my circumstances, but God is. Isn't it horrible, how my heart works?

Pray that God would breathe his Word into my heart and turn my mind on him and not me... I will waste away in sorrow if I focus only on myself. I have so many issues...