Love is a choice... there's the feeling, but you also have to deliberately choose to make it that person and that person only that you chase. You have to want her, not just it. If you want the feeling, just keep chasing the wind, but don't delude yourself. Do we really know anyone else, who they really are? Or do we just love the thought of them? One of the most satisfying things in life is to know exactly who someone is and love them for it. That's my thinking anyway.
It's a deep pursuit, a profound choice. It's no secret life is scary and complex. How naive to expect love to be any different! If you want to get to know somebody, you're going to need to have lots of love, patience, and deliberately know why you're doing it. Don't do it if your only motive is it's fun. Do it if you see a glimpse of who she is, who he is, and you feel drawn to them.
Perhaps we've let that one line in Song of Solomon take over our Christian understanding of love to an unhealthy degree: "I implore you, women of Jerusalem, not to awake love before its time." We've made love a time bomb. A watched pot never boils. We assume it's all about right timing and clockwork. We've put math to the mystery. It doesn't work that way. If you want to fall in love with somebody in a sensible, godly way, I know for me that what I said in the first two paragraphs is a good start. It's what I've learned. It's not always ONLY about patience and timing and waiting and waiting and waiting. It's about a deliberate choice in whatever you do. If you're single, then for God's sake, KNOW WHY you're single and BE single. If you're falling for someone, then ask yourself WHY do I feel drawn to them; do you love the person you know, or the person you think they are? Has the girl "let you in" yet? If not, why do you think she's the one for you? Has the guy demonstrated the character of which he is actually willing to deny his own desires out of humility in favor of pleasing God and respecting you?
You see, the second we use the words "patience" and "waiting" we immediately use something I'd call "time metaphor". Love was never about time. Love exists outside of time, Scripture says it lasts past that. So why would we use time metaphors to try to teach people about how to fall in love, how not to fall in love? God has patience, he can endure a million years no problem. You and I? We're creatures of flesh and pain. We can't handle it because we weren't meant to. All we can do with our limited time here is make DELIBERATE DECISIONS to love others. It's about practical actions, intentional efforts. It's about knowing why you're doing something... not how long it takes to get there. Don't contextualize with time. Don't worry about how long it's been or going to be before you find that person who will love you like crazy. Think only about the people in your life now and make deliberate decisions in light of who they are... and what you can give them.
If they need Jesus, give them Him. If you know who a person really is underneath and you love him, then please be honest with yourself and just love him. And if you get a glimpse of a young woman who loves Jesus so much she sacrifices other areas of life to be closer to him, by all means, chase that girl to the other end of the world. Please. The world needs you to do that. We need you to do that. We all need everybody else to come alive and know why we're doing what we're doing, and then act on it. -George
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