It has been almost a year since I have dated. Usually about a year happens between each one... but this time, there's no time limit. It's whatever. I'm not looking for just fun, I'm looking for a wife, and I'm tired of the games people play.
In the past, I have been clingy, emotionally unstable, judgemental, and probably lots of other negative things. I could spill the ugly details of a young man's confused struggle towards righteousness, but I'll spare you.
I just want to say that historically I have struggled with the "need" for someone special in my life. I've just always felt like I need her. And in some respect, I do. We all long to be understood and affirmed for who we want to be. It's just that now, I know that no amount of control I can exert on my life to "meet the right lady" or "pull off some slick moves" will achieve my dreams exactly the right way.
What is the right way? Is it something that I can just think up? Or is that something hidden in the mind of God? Maybe I should stop "doing life" the way I think inside the box, and actually pay attention to what God is saying to me through His Word. Maybe I'm single for a reason. Maybe I need to learn how to be happy with myself and by myself before I can satisfy anyone else! Maybe the question is not whether the Bible is relevant, but rather when I'm going to realize it is!
People... just wake up. Love is... so amazing, it really is. But if you chronically pine away, wondering who the next new sexy "her" or "him" will be... you probably aren't making God your whole pursuit. I know this about myself... that I love women more than I love God sometimes.
Just remember that. I love each and every one of you because Christ wants me to and He puts that desire in me. Love has way too much meaning for us to sit and play with it like it's a toy. 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is SO much more than a game.
man I want a girlfriend, but I don't want a wife. How you going to afford that??
ReplyDeleteChiao, I've been in four relationships, and it's taught me enough that I know I want something permanent rather than something temporary. If all I'm doing is just looking for a fun girlfriend, I'm not looking beyond the present day. I'm talking about growing up, getting a job, getting a wife, and maturing. I'm obviously not ready to actually get married, but I HAVE moved out of the mindset that "if I just get a girlfriend, my life will be complete." Because that is very much a lie.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm talking about a shift in how I think, not in actually being ready to get married. I am by no means ready this moment to find someone and get hitched.
ReplyDeleteIt is all about doing things according to God's plan. God will provide you with everything you need. Just be patient and trust God. I am so stubborn and it has been difficult for me to listen to God but when I closed my eyes and open my ears God blesses me abundantly! Close your eyes and let God lead you where you need to be!
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